Better Than Me
by Nil1875
Summary: I told myself I won't miss you, But I remember, What it feels like beside you." Songfic to Hinder's Better Than Me. Harry/Draco with mentions of Harry/Cedric. K For somewhat depressing themes. Complete.


A quick oneshot done after hearing this song, and seeing a video set to it, which can be found here just copy and paste: .com/watch?v=tVrBxC5sbG0

Don't worry, for those of you waiting, I will be updating my 'Firewhiskey' story soon, with the final chapter.

Pairing: Harry/Draco of course. 8D

POV: Draco - Normal font.

POV: Harry - _Italics/Song Lyrics_

Originally meant to be song POV from Draco, but somehow turned into this. Hope it's not too confusing. The Lyrics are from Hinder - Better than Me.

I own nothing! 

Please review! Thanks!

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"I can't do this."

_I think you can do much better than me,After all the lies that I made you believe._

"Oy! Potter! Where do you think you're going?" I yelled at your retreating back. You ignored me, and I did the only thing that came to mind. I pulled my wand and pointed it at your back. "Stop now, or I'll curse you!" I nearly screamed.

You stopped. I saw your fists clench in the billowing sleeves of your robes, and you slowly turned around.

I forced myself to hold by ground, but it was the hardest thing that I've ever done.

You were crying.

_Guilt kicks in and I start to see,The edge of the bed,Where your nightgown used to be._

The hallway was empty, I held my wand aloft, unable to move, for the look in your eyes.

"Draco. It's over," you hissed. "It's over, and that's it. Don't make me do something I regret."

I watched you walk away, helpless to stop you. I couldn't understand how this had happened. Well, obviously I could, we were only fourteen after all. Relationships at fourteen were never supposed to work out. But that had never stopped me from falling in love with you.

My wand clattered to the floor, and I collapsed at last, sobbing. I hugged my knees to my chest, and tucked myself into an alcove that Hogwarts was kind enough to provide me with. That's where Blaise found me later. He didn't say a word, just pulled me to my feet, wrapping his arms around me, and snuck me back to the dormitory.

_I told myself I won't miss you,_

_But I remember,What it feels like beside you._

I sneered when you were picked as the Forth Tri-Wizard Champion, like I always would have, but on the inside, I was screaming. Screaming that I should have stopped you, or whoever had done it. Screaming that I needed to protect you.

I yelled at you before the first task, well taunted more like. I wanted a rise out of you, I wanted something. What I got was turned into a Ferret by the Death Eater impersonating Professor Moody. It was certainly not what I wanted, but I did get a moment when you shoved me away, called me pathetic. But your eyes were burning with the passion I loved so much in you.

What I saw next broke my heart.

_I really miss your hair in my face,And the way your innocence tastes._

You turned away from me, and went right to Cedric. I couldn't believe my eyes as I saw your hands entwine. I immediately filled with rage and was keen on hexing one of you. Obviously, I didn't get far.

Over the next few days I saw how you laughed, and you smiled, and it was all because of him.

And I realized. You'd never loved me. You never could.

_And I think you should know this,You deserve much better than me._

Not with the family I came from. Not with what I would be forced to do, in a few years time.

I still held my breath at each task of the tournament, then after the last, when you returned, clutching Cedric's body, and proclaiming Voldemort's return, my vein's ran cold.

I stumbled after you when Crouch took you away. I had to stop him. I'd been so stupid before. Dumbledore stopped me, and went after you instead.

Summer came before I could go to see you._While looking through your old box of notes,I found those pictures I took,That you were looking for._

That summer was the hardest for me. My father was keen on making me ready for the initiation. I didn't want it. I didn't want anything but you.

All of our fifth year, I remained distant, watching your struggle with his death from afar. There was one day though, in the Quidditch Locker rooms, when I confronted you.

_If there's one memory I don't want to lose,That time at the mall,You and me in the dressing room._

"Harry?"

"Don't talk to me Malfoy," you hissed.

I cast my eyes over your prone body, hunched over your bag defensively, even if it was subconscious.

I moved forward silently, and wrapped my arms around me. You struggled for a moment, before you collapsed in my arms, sobbing. I just held you, and when you pulled away and left without a word, I let you.

I felt horrible every time I insulted you or your friends, hoping against hope somehow you'd catch the pleading look in my eyes, and know it was all fake. Know it was all an act.

_I told myself I won't miss you,But I remember,What it feels like beside you._

Sixth year came at last, and I was torn again. Over that summer my father had pressured me in accepting the mark. I was to receive it right after Christmas.

I didn't want it. I went to Dumbledore, and told him that I'd been assigned to kill him. He took me in, and when he told you, I saw the cold look in your eyes waver for just a moment, and I realized how much I still loved you.

_I really miss your hair in my face,And the way your innocence tastes,And I think you should know this,You deserve much better than me._

I was a coward. I wouldn't face you. After two years apart, I couldn't been in a room alone with you. I couldn't look in your eyes. I kept to myself, but this time you sought me out.

I was hiding in the Room of Requirement. It had become my one solace in the castle. Then you found me. I guess you had that map of your father's with you, and saw me go into the room.

I didn't move as you came towards me, where I was curled into a small ball, leaning against the wall. You ran a hand tentatively through my hair, and I bit my lip. Your touch still felt so good to me, only now it was stirring something in me that hadn't been there when we were fourteen.

"I'm sorry." It was all you could say, as once more tears streamed down your eyes.

I didn't know what to say, so I didn't. I just kissed you. I hadn't really expected anything less, but it still hurt when you ran._The bed I'm lying in is getting colder,Wish I never would've said it's over._

So I waited, again. I sent you signs. I told you I was still there for you, if you'd have me. I pinned you down once and told you that when we were fourteen hadn't been a mistake. That we'd never been a mistake.

You cried once more, and shook your head, adamant that it could never be. That we could never be. I was determined to prove you wrong, but what was I supposed to do when you wouldn't listen to me? How was I supposed to keep picking up the broken pieces of my heart, and go on, trying to win you over. There was really only so much I could take.

_And I can't pretend... I won't think about you when I'm older,Cause we never really had our closure,This can't be the end._

I asked you if you had loved Cedric. You looked so stricken, but I had to know. You finally shook your head and mumbled, "Only you."

My heart flipped, then clenched, then shattered. I pulled your face up by your chin, and made our eyes meet.

"Say it," I half ordered, half begged. I saw how hurt your eyes were, how much you struggled.

"Draco, I love you. I've always loved you. I was a fool for letting you go, but you deserve better. I'm nothing. I'm just a name."

I stared at you, for a very long time, very incredulously, before I smashed my mouth to yours roughly, preventing anymore foolhardy works slipping past your perfect lips.

How could you think that of yourself?

_I really miss your hair in my face,And the way your innocence tastes,And I think you should know this,You deserve much better than me._

When you kissed me back I could feel the fire, sharper than it had been before, but just as wonderful. My fingers were in your hair, and yours in mine, and before I knew it our clothes were gone. As I explored you for the first real time, I prayed to anyone listening it wouldn't be the last.

_I really miss your hair in my face,And the way your innocence tastes,And I think you should know this,You deserve much better than me._

I couldn't stop telling you how much I loved you, and you didn't seem to be able to stop either. I was so relieved that we were together again, and I apologized over and over for every foul thing I'd ever said to you, or your friends.

You told me it was alright, that it was all in the past. You asked how I could be with you, when I knew Voldemort would try to use me against you. I told you we'd deal with it when it comes.

I swore I would never let you go.

_(And I think you should know this.)_

We will face whatever comes through our future, whatever comes our way. And best of all..

_(You deserve much better than me.)_

We'll do it together.


End file.
